Taking back control

Sometimes when we have an issue or a problem we see it as being about someone or something else, "if only they were different...", "if only circumstances were different..." I wouldn't have this problem. On a deeper level it's important in empowering ourselves to remember that we can't change other people, and we can only influence the parts of our circumstances that we have some control over.

I find it helpful to remember something I was once told, that when we point the finger of blame at someone else, or something else, there is always one finger (or thumb) pointing away - to chance, luck, nature, whatever, and there will also always be three fingers pointing back at you. This has stayed with me through the years.

In every situation I have 3 times as much influence over how I let it affect me, how I respond, how I perceive it, how I react, what I do thereafter. No one can make us feel anything. This is our choice. Undoubtedly what others say and do, and the circumstances we find ourselves in can be negative, hurtful or uncomfortable at times. But we can decide what we do with that experience thereafter. We decide how long it will affect us, and how much time and energy and feeling we will invest in it. This is where we can take back control.